I was feeling very irritable and discontented today and I would love to say I could not tell you why, that would be a lie. The truth is because I am not completely accepting of where I am in my career. I am in the beginning stages of something INCREDIBLE I know that to be true, but I could not help but feel I was not truly stepping into space where I belong.
My dream is not to bring in any income. As I would love to sit all day working on the back end of my business I really can’t do that. My husband has an incredible job but he himself is in the beginning stages of it and we cant only rely on his income. So I have a small part-time job. Yes, I said JOB. Not my career. Not my dream. A JOB. Which with most people you would think I would be grateful just to have income in this economic climate, and I am. I am truly grateful to have some form of income today. Especially because most of the people I talk to for my job are people who are looking for grants or loans because they have lost everything to COVID. It is heartbreaking to hear their stories and in those moments I truly feel grateful and kind of like a brat.
I can’t help that I am hungry to step into my purpose. I can’t help that I have this fire in me to help people walk through some of the darker parts of their life. It’s who I am. My life’s purpose is to live in my truth and help others be antiquated with theirs.
So I sat in meditation today. Through meditation, I can talk to my spirit guides to gain a little pick me up. A quick reminder that everything is okay. Today I got WAY more than I was expecting and I wanted to share it with you in hopes that someone else out there who is in the same state of mind as I have been can read this and understand their truth in their own process.
I was truly only ready to meditate. But I had a strong calling to get my laptop out and type all of this out. I had a true download. It was like the flood gates were opened. I cried I smiled and I snickered at myself. It was a powerful moment in my life and I am GRATEFUL to be able to share it with you.
I am not going to let you fail. Things are coming the way you have only dreamed of. The forces that stand behind you are far older than your own soal. I am here to keep you moving forward. You are never alone. Gabriel.
You are my guide?
Yes, I am here to help you understand your gifts. They are going unharnessed. Speak with me for I will show you how to claim your birthright as a goddess.
I don’t understand how am I a goddess.
Bloodlines soul bloodlines. Energetic ties to the old days.
So I am a Hybrid soul?
Yes, you are of man and light. Do not get caught up in this material realm.
Well, I have to live in it and id prefer to live comfortably.
I am living comfortably yes but I am not doing what I feel in my heart I am supposed to be doing it is discouraging.
What if what you want is not what you are after. What if what you have is what you want. Because you are using your gifts now. Stop with the money. We will not allow you to go without it. We want you to succeed. Stop trying to control this and let us take the lead. You can only do so much in the manifested world. Don’t try to understand what is happening. We want to thrive. You are one of us.
Calling is in the bone. It does not allow you to sleep at night. It won’t let you forget about the nature of the call. It creeps into every crack of your life. You are without defense from it. A calling is a burden to carry because you have a mission in this realm to uphold. You have free will but it does not work the same way as others without the calling. Your free will outside of the alignment to the calling will act as a barrier to what you are meant for. It will only get in your way. The most important thing to do with a calling is to trust your guides will lead you on the path less destroyed by the ego. The earthly world is allowed to live in both spaces. But choose wisely because, with the calling, one space may be filled with more suffering. This is the burden of the calling. Do not trust yourself without this being cultivated or harnessed for you will act like a loose cannon. The calling is meant to direct you to the path for which you were chosen to come back to the manifested world. You are an extension of an assignment of truth. You cannot live fully without stepping into the calling. But it takes time for this to be cultivated this is why you must trust along the way. You may feel like you are not aligned but you are exactly where you were placed to be. let s guide you. stop resisting. The calling is you.
The closer the calling gets to you the more out of your skin you feel. Depression and separation start to set in. The feeling of being not of this world gains momentum. This is where you learn of your true self. It is a self that can not be explained by the words of this world. Only by feelings. It is a connection that is so strong it can only make you feel separated from the rest of your kind. You must not be consumed by it for you still have to exist in this time. This is where the cunning begins. This is the relationship you carry with yourself. The vibrations are too intense for your physical body to understand. This is why the dis-ease is raw. Ground yourself in knowing you are supported.
I was to become an addict because of my design my free will is devastating to my calling. I had to go through the human experience of giving my will up to go through extreme measures to ensure I would not act in my own will but the will of my power. The will of my power is not of the manifested but the unmanifested. The energies that can not be seen with the eye of humans.
THIS WAS A LOT TO TAKE IN. For me it was exactly what I needed to hear. To often my ego will try and put the cart before the horse to sabotage my higher self. Lucky I heard the calling and I listened.